A few observations after the USA election, occasioned by an amble around Greater Parkdale today, during which I witnessed two major anti-Trump psychiatric meltdowns; then several minor ones during a coffee-clatch discussion.


1. How easily the college-educated go barking mad.

2. The most reliable “safe space” is a padded cell. The least reliable ought to be on campus.

3. The new administration might want to consider “transitioning” several Ivy League universities into mental homes to serve an urgent public need.

4. If you think Trump is bad, you should read some history. It wouldn’t take much. His views, in the main (as stated, not as falsely attributed), would have passed as middle-of-the-road liberal about one generation ago. On many of the issues, Trump is farther Left. By traditional standards for despots and demagogues, he strikes me as fey.

5. Which is why I despise him. I didn’t like liberal mediocrities then, and I don’t like them now.

6. On the specific question of his taste in fixtures and furnishings (including likely cabinet choices), we must be firm. On the basis of his Manhattan apartment alone, I’d be inclined to appoint a Special Prosecutor.

7. I will hope he is sufficiently Machiavellian to nominate Ted Cruz for the Scalia vacancy on the Supreme Court.

8. And then he could make a personal appearance there, shouting and waving his little hands. That could create three more vacancies.

9. Melania and Michelle should do a sitcom together. (“Transition Team.”)

10. As of three-thirty a.m. the night before last, I achieved a state of happiness I had not enjoyed for a long time. And this was with the help of only one (1) 750mL bottle of strong Belgian monastic ale. (Chimay, the red label, from the Pères Trappistes of Scourmont.) As I have indicated, I do not much care for that Donald fellow. But the defeat of Hillary was exhilarating.

11. Several gentle readers have written to congratulate me for correctly predicting the result of the election. But the truth is that I thought the Republicans would win by more. My private prediction was at least 7 percent on the popular vote, which would translate into an Electoral College landslide; plus substantial coat-tail gains in Congress; and every available Statehouse. I may have misunderestimated the number of dead people who would be voting, however; for dead people tend to vote Democrat.

12. He (Mr Trump) is, it should be said, a dangerous republican. He has already eliminated two political dynasties, within the USA (both the Bushes and the Clintons). Monarchists in Europe take note. Do not invite this man into your castles.

13. Up here in the Great Frigid North, we will have to build a wall, to stop Americans trying to cross our border. Most of them are, I admit, fairly harmless, sad-sack, refugee types, unlikely to overstrain our medicare system. But mixed in with them may be rappers, terrorists, CNN personalities, professional journalists, and Hollywood movie stars. Our airports may also have to be quarantined. This could cost us a lot of money, and we should send the bill to Trump.

14. Oh, I forgot, the Liberals won the last Canadian election. So instead, let them all in, and we’ll move to where it’s warmer. (Swap houses?)

15. I gather that Trump’s grandmother was a unilingual Gaelic speaker from the Outer Hebrides. This is where my maternal ancestors came from, too. Given the continuing hold of identity politics, could there be money in this for me?

16. One learns such things from e.g. The Buchan Observer, published near where Trump owns a golf course. Hence their headline yesterday: “Aberdeenshire business owner wins presidential election.”

17. It is said that the President-elect scares people; foreigners especially. This is the good news. The more they fear him, the better chance of peace.

18. Have you noticed that people who accuse him of hate crimes are frothing at the mouth? … No? …

19. I have.