Essays in Idleness

“God, I hate white people,” I declared upon arriving at a weekly conference with my respected priest, in recent antiquity. Father smiled indulgently. “I know what you mean,” he contributed.

He went to his death, during the Batflu, sharing most of my more settled prejudices. Both of us were convinced that Canadians have gone quite degenerate, and that reactionary immigrants offer the only relief. Certainly, that’s the only place we can look for Catholics. I proposed that we should recognize this fact, while restoring Christianity to the wind-whistled wastes. We could establish a “Right of Involuntary Return,” for Canadians suspected of voting Liberal, or N.D.Pee. This would create enough confusion to make our deportations run smoothly. The deportees would enjoy the same rights as empty, uncollected bottles to the Liquor Control Board. Where we would send them, no one need ask.

Or perhaps we could call it the “Recycling Act.”

I was thinking this again over last weekend when millions of aging, baby-boom, white people were demonstrating at the “No Kings” event, across the U.S.A. Some of them were dancing, even at the risk of a fall. Some media estimated that 90 percent of the participants were white, which means it was probably closer to 100 percent.

While my prejudice is chiefly racial, my bias includes a generational aspect. I began to distrust the “baby-boomers” when I was (innocently, I insist) an under-aged baby-boomer myself, and have retained my baby-boom-o-phobia ever since. But as for “the kids today,” I might easily forgive them. For, to be generous, they still have a chance to grow up. And many of them were raised by typically baby-boom, irresponsible parents. Whereas, the contemporary baby-boomers have, by now, discarded their chances. They have all “matured,” and cannot possibly expect forgiveness. Surely, it is time they were returned.