Essays in Idleness

The Internet tells me that truck-driving has become an issue in the United States. (Everything is an issue in Canada.)

In my view, which is obeyed throughout this website, nothing legal needs to be done about the truck-driving industry. All regulations and licensing requirements on the length, height, width, weight, and speed, of vehicles or drivers, should be abrogated throughout all constituencies. This should disapply even if they use enough wheels to float, or are piloted by centenarians or Somalis — so long, of course, as they do not make loud, distracting noises.

My one restriction would be that no vehicle over nine feet long, or unnecessarily ugly, may be displayed on a public road or driveway. But this could be enforced by extra-legal means, merely by defunding the upkeep for all roads. Indeed, this will save money, and discourage corruption. Anything that is oversize or awkward will have to go off-road; and of course, never faster than a horse. (Perhaps spiffy bicycles will have to be prevented; whereas ostrich tongas will not have to be.)

All this should apply only outside city limits. Inside, anything with a disagreeable motor must go deep underground.

The unemployed truck-drivers might want to look into “regenerative agriculture.” It promises a fulfilling hobby for all the empty spaces, created by the abandonment of our antiquated highway networks.